Precipitation

Because I loved you, I laid my head on your shoulders,
Because you loved me, I felt at peace.
Total calm,
Whole not broken,
Truly safe, an elusive state of being.

Because I loved you, I accepted all of you,
Because you loved me, I felt understood.
Free to talk,
Never to hide,
To be whoever, in our perfect moments.

Because I loved you, I called to you,
Because you loved me, I felt loved.
Power equals,
Full of joy,
No empty spaces and finally, it was enough.

Happy birthday Daddy. I know your not around to celebrate it any more and you won’t even read this (I hope you are up in Heaven having a lot of fun), but its my way of remembering you and showing that you were here even if you aren’t any more….

Wow, it’s been over a week since I’ve last written. I guess to be honest, I don’t miss the daily grind of writing and I’ve started a "secret project" which is taking up a lot of my words. I am writing a song for friends of mine who are getting married. It will be a surprise to them.  A friend of mine who is a very talented musician is writing the tune and we will record it for them.

Since my last post, I’ve officially turned the big 30.  My birthday was a hodge podge sort of day because I put my neck out and spent a lot of the day in pain.  I’m almost completely better now though.  I am going to have a follow up at the osteopath tomorrow which is great cause I get a massage with it.  My boss was really great about letting me go in work time because by Monday, I was absolutely useless to her pretty much.

 Talking of Monday, My very cool workmates threw me a party which included presents and a special cake made out of flummery (that’s diabetic jelly and cream).  It was very thoughtful and yummy!  I have really felt loved by all my friends and family.

Talking of family, here is an update on my Aunt: It seems the lump isn’t as bad as first thought (interesting!).  She is going into surgery tomorrow and they are hoping that can get it all without having to remove any parts of her anatomy.  By the sounds of it, she is also thinking about her walk with Christ too.  Can you please pray that her surgery tomorrow goes well, she heals quickly and that she actively looks for a Church and continues to grow in Him.

God is continuing to teach me stuff which is awesome in a not easy sort of way but it’s making me all I can be so I can’t complain about that now can I?  Work is going great although we have had a irrate customer problem which led to us being guarded.  God has been watching over us there though too.

I’ve been keeping up with your blogs a lot more recently so that’s progress! Yay! Looking forward to hearing from you,

R.

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Now playing: Hillsong - From God Above
via FoxyTunes   

My Aunty has just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and it’s not a small lump.  This means most likely that she will undergo surgery and chemo etc.  Can I ask you to please pray for her in a three fold way?

1.  That God’s will be done and that she and her family will have peace.

2.  That she wouldn’t be overwrought with the worry - she is a chronic worrier so it will be hard for her to keep that in check.

3.  That she will grow closer to God during this time and that all that goes on will be a testament to His glory.  She professes to be a Christian but I’m not sure where she is with God.  Regardless of anything, we all need to get a little closer to God right?  If you could pray that the same is true of her family.

 Thanks heaps for this.

Rachel. 

Labour Weekend means Dad weekend. I always thought that my Dad’s birthday would be the day I really think about him and in the first year it was. I had hellish dreams that particular year. Now that it’s been a while since he died, It’s his death date that I think of him most.

I look back and think of things that his death taught me. While the death of a parent is extremely sad, the only way to cope is to look at the positives and hold onto God. After all the Bible says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

I’m a radically different person from who I was when he died because of this. People cannot understand it/me until they’ve been through it because it is somewhat incomprehensible. Know this though, God has really worked my father’s death for my good. To celebrate this year, I thought I’d make a top ten list of ways I’ve changed/ things learnt because of Dad’s death…

1. I am a compulsive photo taker - I want to remember as much as I can of the people who matter to me.

2. I tell people that I care often (no matter how strange they think I am hehe) - I don’t want to eulogise at funerals because they don’t need to know it then. People need to know it when they are alive. Everyone needs to feel special.

3. I try to live regret free - I want to live to a ripe old age and smile rather than look back and think about what I missed. That includes being totally me and breaking some social conventions hehe.

4. I do stuff that scares me more often - pretty self explanatory but not easy LOL.

5. I learnt to write my dreams in list form and actually do them - I’ve been pretty good at this - Got my song played in Church, went to Disney Land etc.

6. Learnt the different ways people show they care.

7. Learnt more about Dad.

8. Learnt a lot more about myself and my own strengths and weaknesses.

9. I got really involved in Church! If that hadn’t have happened I would have never been a Children’s worker!

10. Shaken the apathy that I was stuck in before Dad’s death and broken free.

Thank you God for all that You have done .

He’s grown bigger now…

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Now playing: Ronan Keating - Iris
via FoxyTunes    

My cat got better (after the last post) but since then he slowly declined. He stopped eating three days ago. His smell which used to smell like talcum powder, changed to something resembling a vets office. Apparently, this is the smell of the toxins taking over when your kidney’s fail. My Mother and SF took him to the vet this morning. About half an hour ago, he was put to sleep peacefully.

As I knew it was coming, I said my good byes last night. I wonder if he sensed something was going to happen because for the first time in ages, he slept on my bed. He used to do it every night but stopped when the dog started to join us.

Trivia:
I’ve had him for 12 years. He was born just shy of my 18th birthday in my brother’s underwear drawer!
When he used to want to go out in the night, he would eat the hair at the top of my head - definitely got my attention.

Remember that I said a friend of mine was talking photos of my Brother and I for Mother’s day… These are some of them! (more…)

OK so maybe the title is overly dramatic but I thought the alliteration was fabulous! My Cat hasn’t been feeling too well of late, so Mum and S.F took him to the vet tonight. It’s one of two things: A kidney infection or it could just be that his kidney’s are shutting down. This is what happened to his mother.

My cat is a brilliant cat. He’s always kept pretty much to himself. Never really needed much from me. Loves to snuggle in when no-one is watching. He amazes me because at almost 12 (he was born just before my 18th birthday), he’s still leaping around and really physically fit!

If it is liver failure, we have some time left. I’ll be spending it treating him with cat milk and treats. At least when he leaves this earth, he gets to be with his best friend - Shadow. The vet will be ringing with his prognosis tomorrow evening.

Isn’t he a handsome cat?