Precipitation

Life is strange.
People are stranger.
I am at peace at this moment in time.
I’m hooked on the song “Same Mistake” by James Blunt.
I know nothing about guys except the one I love as a best friend.
I’m being forcibly removed from my caffeine. I didn’t have any diet coke today. I had sprite Zero though - just one.
I regressed on the diet coke. I thought I didn’t want to give it up and I don’t.
The funny thing is that part of me does. It’s very subconscious though.
Don’t lecture people who have just come off caffeine.
So much to say, but too many people to read.
I’m getting an early “ish” night.

Because I loved you, I laid my head on your shoulders,
Because you loved me, I felt at peace.
Total calm,
Whole not broken,
Truly safe, an elusive state of being.

Because I loved you, I accepted all of you,
Because you loved me, I felt understood.
Free to talk,
Never to hide,
To be whoever, in our perfect moments.

Because I loved you, I called to you,
Because you loved me, I felt loved.
Power equals,
Full of joy,
No empty spaces and finally, it was enough.

Tips for personal remodelling:

1. You have to really want it. I personally prayed about it and prayed specifically for someone to help me. You can lose weight for any reason but in the long run (the tough times hit), the wrong ones won’t help you keep going – only inner motivation will.

2. Choose someone who will keep you accountable. This someone has to be willing to meet you on a weekly basis and take your measurements and know how to kick your butt when you need it. They also need to be willing to tell you off when you are not drinking water, taking vitamins and exercising.

3. It’s okay to be really strict at first. If you can justify small things, it won’t be long before you can justify big things later. Identify the things that you need to keep in the diet (and you can’t live without). I was shocked to discover that I couldn’t go without bread. If you don’t keep things like this in your diet – you will stray.

4. Reward yourself every so often. It cuts back on the cheating.

5. Use whatever diet suits you. For myself, I started with low carbs because I loved carbs a little too much. By cutting down on them, I was able to lose weight that way. Weight watchers also works because it gives you a variety of foods to choose from and includes carbs hehe.

These are my top five tips for the week hehe.

I am officially suffering caffeine withdrawal during the day people. I drunk eight glasses of water today. This was great except for one thing - It replaced my caffeine intake. This meant by three pm, I was ready to throw the computer out of the window (it was rude enough not to co-operate with what I wanted from it) and want to snarl at any customer who so much as looked at me the wrong way. Don’t worry, I had some shortly after that…I’m a lot happier now hehe.

I have a person checking up on me. I want to lose 20 kgs before Christmas. I’m going to - but right now my resolve is flagging due to lack of caffeine and sleep. To bed early tonight me thinks. I’m exercising tomorrow too!

I’ve got a confession to make…I love singing karaoke. Not in public (I’m not completely out of mind hehe). I spent the part of the afternoon singing instrumental versions of the songs I really like. It’s not that I think I’m any good when I say this, but I love trying to challenge my voice and I also love feeling the feelings to make what is an ok song into an ever better song.

I learnt a while ago that everyone has two voices. There is the voice that people use when they don’t relate to the emotions behind the song. If you really know a song and attach your emotions behind a song, you sing that song a lot better and it feels like a personal journey rather than just a song.

Take a personal journey - Sing loudly at the top of your voice!

God has been helping me tonight. I’m seeing things in a new light. Thank you so much God!

The flat warming went well. I kept it small and only invited the people I really wanted. This upset a few people but I think I’m moving past the stage where I need to invite people just because I can. Amazingly, I’m not actually feeling guilty for hurting them.

I could give you a long explanation of the whys and wherefores but I don’t think it’s pertinent. Let’s just say that I’m finally dealing with myself. God has forced me to take a look at some stuff and make changes. He’s also honing me - so while I wouldn’t go through the last couple of months again, I’m thankful for what I’m growing to become.

When I was younger, I thought that you would eventually reach this point where you had it all figured out. I’m beginning to doubt that point ever happens hehe. At least life will never be boring haha!

The flat is now totally unpacked. Actually, it was unpacked by the 14th but I have put up a few more sepia photos in frames. I’m really into my photography and I think I’m getting better if my photos are anything to judge by.

The flat is going well. It’s a spacious one bedroom flat. I can see the sea from the bedroom and the lounge. Both get morning sun. I also have my own library and music centre. It’s nice to display all my books in one place. The library also doubles as a spare bedroom as it has a pull out couch!

It is very relaxing having the place to myself and I enjoy being all domesticated hehe. Anything else you were wanting to know hehe?

I have moved into my new flat. Life is now finally starting to balance itself out. Admittedly, I did have to take a couple of days sick leave this week. It felt like holiday but it was desperately needed time because my body has been in so much stress over the last 5 months, that it needed to unwind. Because I let go of the constant stress over the last couple of days, I was displaying cold and flu symptoms - so it really was sick leave.

I’ve now decorated and only have one area left to unpack. That is my books and music. Shouldn’t take too long. My only bug bear is that I have lost a computer game. It’s really driving me nuts so hopefully I will find it.

As always, I have been keeping up with the blogs, still being a lurker but I’m hoping now that life has settled down, I may get back to posting and even commenting haha!